Monday, March 9, 2009
I spent the day day at the dentist, well not the whole day but it always feels like it's the whole day. I had an epiphany though as I tried to pick out an outfit that I wouldn't be likely to associate with a bad dental experience. ( I know sounds a little wacky but bear with me.)
When I was little, about five, I went to the dentist, not sure it was the first time but it was probably the first time the dentist filled a cavity. After 35 years my recollection is a little off, but I do remember being scared and I do remember him slapping my cheek to 'calm' me down and I do remember biting his finger the moment he put his finger back in my little mouth. Since then, I'm assuming, I haven't been too keen on going to the dentist. It's not that I don't value my dental health or that I can't see the importance of good dental care. It's that I still have a scared little girl that resides in me that is petrified of being hurt and unable to stop that which is scaring me.
So my epiphany? I think it's about time I find a therapist to talk to about some of the scary things that happened to me at a young age(unfortunately more than just the dentist!) that I haven't been able to heal from. I have found ways to cope and to work around some of these things but I need to heal them so that I can be fully who I am meant to be and show my son how it can be done. It's amazing how a little one can open your eyes to aspects of yourself that need to be healed. And it's amazing how you find the courage to confront these monsters of your youth. It was a very moving day for me emotionally that I wanted to share. I will hopefully be able to share a success story down this little road I'm traveling. :o)