Sunday, June 15, 2008

My Dad

My dad passed away nearly 12 years ago and I still miss him nearly every day. They say that you marry your father (if you are a girl). I see some of my father in my husband, but I wish I saw more. My dad was funny, he died when I was 28 and even at that age I truly appreciated his company. I loved going out to lunch with him. He was a great conversationalist. I truly believe that my sister and I are able to express our opinions because of his ability to listen to us and allow us to have our own voice (no matter how silly it may have sounded at times to him). He was a gentle man. I don't know how many times he roared about not bringing another pet into the house. Then there he'd be, that same pet he claimed he didn't want anything to do with, sitting in his lap or snuggled up against him. He was glad he had girls because he was worried what kind of a father he'd be if he had boys. His own dad died when he was 4 so he was raised by his polish immigrant mom and a plethora of sisters. We found out that he'd be a great dad to boys when my sister had my first nephew at the age of 19. Justin had his dad in his life but grandpa was his pal. There wasn't a day that went by that those two weren't attached at the hip, Bones and Fatboy. I still have an image of my father driving down the road with Justin next to him, navigating, my dad's health was failing by then but we really didn't know yet, there they were driving 20 mph in a 35mph zone, a long line of traffic trailing behind (I'm sure they were irritated, but had they known the back story....)I wish my little boy could have known my dad, there is a gentle kindness that is missing in the men around us. There is something to be said about boys who have been raised by strong women (not bitchy, crazy women but strong self- sufficient women) I know my sister told my husband that I idolized my dad, that he wasn't as perfect as I said. Well truth be told, my dad was a human being, he was flawed, we all are. We wouldn't be on this planet if we didn't have lessons to learn or later to teach. I loved him because he was my dad and he loved me and did the best job he could. He was a good example of how to treat others and animals, he had a good work ethic and common sense. He made me laugh and he laughed with me. He valued family and good food and unfortunately left us all too soon. So Happy Father's Day Dad, I know as I write this that he is hearing me.