Friday, February 27, 2009
Poop and Other Rectal Delights
There is something drastically wrong with dogs. Don't misunderstand me, I love dogs. They are fine animals but I'm much more inclined to relate to my cat.
As I sat here working, my dog passed gas, yup, she farted, audibly farted! No it wasn't an elephant under her bed, it was she, the beast, the Dharma dog. If I would have been looking at her at the time, I'm sure I would have witnessed her lifting up her right butt cheek to let it escape a little easier.
I have had a heck of a day. The little boy filled his diaper this morning and I was sure I was going to lose my mini wheats . Then Dharma needed to go out twice in about 3 hours. Now this dog is lucky if she goes out 4 times in an entire day, so going out twice in that short period of time is unheard of. She left large packages for us each time. Then I had to take my husband to work after his meeting with the dietician. The beast was acting like she had to go out but Jeff had just brought her back in and told me how much she actually excreted(Lovely topic, isn't it?) So we both thought she must be upset about the squirrels outside.
NOPE!! She had to pooh AGAIN! Another fine sized pile greeted me when I walked in the door. Or should I clarify the stench greeted me when I walked in the door, the pile resided in the dining room where she spends most of her time.
How did I end up the poop patrol?
So as I sat here and heard her tooting in her little piece of heaven, I had to just shake my head and wonder what I did to deserve this lush life.
(Thank God for my crazy, yet gas-free, cat)