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Friday, February 27, 2009

Poop and Other Rectal Delights


There is something drastically wrong with dogs. Don't misunderstand me, I love dogs. They are fine animals but I'm much more inclined to relate to my cat.
As I sat here working, my dog passed gas, yup, she farted, audibly farted! No it wasn't an elephant under her bed, it was she, the beast, the Dharma dog. If I would have been looking at her at the time, I'm sure I would have witnessed her lifting up her right butt cheek to let it escape a little easier.
VILE!
I have had a heck of a day. The little boy filled his diaper this morning and I was sure I was going to lose my mini wheats . Then Dharma needed to go out twice in about 3 hours. Now this dog is lucky if she goes out 4 times in an entire day, so going out twice in that short period of time is unheard of. She left large packages for us each time. Then I had to take my husband to work after his meeting with the dietician. The beast was acting like she had to go out but Jeff had just brought her back in and told me how much she actually excreted(Lovely topic, isn't it?) So we both thought she must be upset about the squirrels outside.
NOPE!! She had to pooh AGAIN! Another fine sized pile greeted me when I walked in the door. Or should I clarify the stench greeted me when I walked in the door, the pile resided in the dining room where she spends most of her time.
Just peachy!
How did I end up the poop patrol?
So as I sat here and heard her tooting in her little piece of heaven, I had to just shake my head and wonder what I did to deserve this lush life.
(Thank God for my crazy, yet gas-free, cat)

4 comments:

Mommy Bee said...

I still think the vomit is worse than any amount of gas or even poop, then again, my doggie is only 45lbs, and yours looks a good deal bigger, LOL!!

elf said...

Amazingly Dharma is only about 30 pounds(but she's got a big head!!)
I fortunately haven't had to clean up vomit yet(knock wood!) I know my son will eventually get sick but I'm so not looking forward to that day! It will really test my intestinal fortitude!:o)

Penelope Anne said...

LMAO! Hunny Boo! I have a 60 lb pit bull (Hope Anne) that sleeps with me and she sleeps under the covers down towards my feet and I swear to god there are some night when I roll over and waft the covers that the green clouds that poofs out singes my eyelashes! Its unbelievable!

shweetpotato said...

omgosh ICK I was laughing so hard reading your post. I swear I clean up cat puke almost daily ughh, Carm