Maybe it is because I was 38 when I had my son but I never take being a mother for granted. I am extremely honored to be mommy to such an amazing little boy.
I'm blessed to have the one child that I do. I always wanted 5 kids. Once I hit my 30's the number dropped to 2 or 3. When I hit 36, I hoped I would at least have one child. I had an easy pregnancy with my son, I loved being pregnant. The week before he was born(and we can blame this on hormones, I'm sure) I broke down into tears, what if he didn't like me? I mean we got along swimmingly while he was in utero. He was 4 days late, maybe he was having the same thoughts(JK). I was in labor for a while but had to have a C section when my blood pressure kept dropping and Baby G's heart rate would drop during contractions(if you know anything about baby delivery, this is not a good sign).Well, luckily, my doctor was fabulous and he was delivered safely and I was fine, albeit cut open and in need of healing. The first 6 weeks were the hardest, I didn't know his cues in the real world and he didn't know how to let me know what he needed. I was healing and tired. Quite literally at 6 weeks we clicked and we have the most abiding love two souls can have. Being stubborn sorts, I'm sure there will be times that we will drive each other mad, being the mommy I'm sure I will occasionally trump his desires and thwart his independence(that is my job after all) but always in love, not spite. I hope he shows me a better way to see things when I have tunnel vision. He has already given me a feeling of purpose, I hope I can help him find his in this life.
As I write this I wonder why we don't celebrate our children as they celebrate us. If it weren't for them we would not be moms and dads. Some cultures do. I can understand why. They teach us so much. Not through wisdom but because of their innocence and through their learning and experience of life for the very first time. I always needed to develop patience in this life, my angel baby has taught me why it is important. My mantra is "he doesn't have the life experience you do, be patient with him". I've always been more patient with children (or mentally impaired people) but living with one has taught me how impatient I truly am! I am getting better but I still have moments and after those moments I feel truly sorrowful for my inability to be patient in every moment with my child. Nobody is perfect but we can all strive to be as close to perfect as possible. I know he is a happy child and very bright, he amazes me with his brilliance some days! But he is 22 months, I'm frightened that his intelligence will surpass mine, gosh I hope he'll be more patient with me if that happens!
I could wax poetic on my life as a mommy forever, but I won't. I am honored to be one and I am honored to know so many wonderful loving mothers, grandmothers and aunts. To you all, I wish you a Very Happy Mothers Day! Now, get off the computer and go play with those kiddies! (oops, that's the mommy in me!:o)
2 comments:
Happy (late) Mother's Day. :) You sound like you and your son have a wonderful relationship. My girls are 19 and 17-- I think if I went into their rooms and asked to play with them, they'd look at me like I was nuts. ;)
Nicely written! Happy Mom's day! (belated, too!)
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